Do We Cry and Mourn On What has Happened? Or Introspect On Why And How It Should Not Have Happened???


What is the world we are living in today?

When will this stop??

Every passing day is highlighted with a news of some or the other incident that leaves us in shock, choking and shattered.

Just a week back, the news channels were flashed with the pictures of a very talented actor, a very lively young man, someone who had many eggs in his basket within few years of stardom, brilliant performer in academics during his school and college days, an engineer, an innovative entrepreneur in the making, a heart full of warmth and love towards people, a champion of many social causes, a motivation for every Indian and undoubtedly a heartthrob of most Indians –decided to close his eyes forever in a gruesome manner.

I am sure it left the entire country shocked!

Disconcerted were you, agitated was I too!

What shoves our hearts I am pretty sure is how come such a lively and no nonsense person, rational minded, passionate and sincere to the core (the perception we have gained through years of seeing him), could take such an inescapable route???

We may continue to think, debate, counter debate and contemplate, that a life which we thought to be very rosy had grey streaks, but we may never know........

The truth my friend is that human brain is still an enigma to scientists. Network of billions of nerves and cells, thalamus of myriad emotions, a bowl of hormonal secretions of various quantities, is still a quest for researchers and challenge for the best neurologist, psychiatrist and neurosurgeon.

I am sure all of us know that thinking positively helps

That life is beautiful and worth living inspite of it’s challenges

That we need to love ourselves and love others too

That we must increase the bandwidth of our tolerance, patience and experiences

That after every sunset, there is sunrise

You will not agree less that this young actor who chose to guillotine himself was aware of the above truths, so also the cases I presented in my previous blog and many more who are silently walking towards the doom day .

They all understood these as much as you and me.

They all wanted to live as much as you and me

Where is the gap ?

Could anything might have helped – unless we shift responsibility on destiny?

From my experience, Yes! Yes! Yes!

Just if someone cared to hear a bleeding heart out as God gave me the strength to do. I don’t proclaim myself as a saviour or an expert in psychology.

All I am trying to say is if people around a person- friends, colleagues, boss, teacher, family members or just anyone around ;simply inspite of their tight schedules, be sensitive enough to pay heed to any slightest change in behaviour, expression or thought pattern of a person.

Just if, people around stop imposing the man made, pseudo social norms of acceptability and non acceptability.

Just if, people around them stop judging, coaxing, advising and comparing.

Just if, people around choose to spend some time sharing , hearing and comforting an injured soul.

Just if, people around choose to pause, think about the person, engage with sincerity and genuinity, use the right words ,gentility and gestures, give a cushion effect and help these perplexed minds by giving them the confidence that they are not alone.

Just if, people care to bring to the notice of the person’s family members, civil authorities or bodies like police, human rights commissions if they perceive that the person is being subjected to physical or mental torture whatever may be the cause .

Most importantly after having done the above acts, try to help the person visit a professional clinical counsellor and therapist if still the condition persist.

Remember my friends, the way two minds think, relate and connect to various things, events and people is still a mystery. The way two brains react to and handle similar circumstance may be quite contradictory.

“You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly ok to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared and anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a negative person. It makes you human”.

However being overwhelmed by the feelings which seeps into the subconscious mind; pressing the fear button to exceed the maximum limit which may vary from individual to individual is the threshold to contain by the individual as well as everyone around as a support.

What is the need of the hour is a conscious and sensitive approach by each one of us to the subconscious mind of any vulnerable person around.

I certainly believe in the words of Fred Rogers that “Anything that’s human is mentionable and anything that’s mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary”

“Every shadow no matter how deep is threatened by the morning light”.

Be there as the morning light for someone and help him or her to relive!!!!


written by
Dr. Susmita Parija

Dr.Susmita Parija is a “Women of Substance” who conducts her life with Honesty and Integrity. Sh...

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